Monday, June 25, 2007

I go back to work tomorrow...

...after seven months of roller coaster freedom. The time has finally come.

I met with Dr. Yee today to see about an editing job. She'll call me back at the end of the week and let me know if she chooses me. I've got no positive intuitions about it. From the way we said goodbye, I have a feeling I may not be chosen. But that's all out of my hands now. So we'll see.

In the meantime, I'm selling art, or at least training to again ($8/hr training--bullocks). If you want to see what kind of art, go to www.lassenmaui.com, and you'll see how very exciting it is indeed. There are actually a few I like, so that's good. I'll always think about those when I'm selling his other work.

I've decided to work on changing my "personality." I'm going to challenge myself to get rid of that shy/timid gig and look everyone in the eyes always. And take what I need when I need it and if I'm not getting it, ask. And what I want too. I think I was a bit walked over in my last job but I never really did anything about it. I'm going to try to focus on what I want and what I need too. And I won't be submissive around my bosses just because they are my bosses. I've spent way too much of my life being submissive. I've spent way too much of my life looking out for everyone around me, in some ways, making sure there's peace. I don't want peace anymore, I don't think. I'm going to figure out once and hopefully for all just how to take care of myself in a public/social setting. And I'm going to become a killer sales person. And never lie. If that's possible. Because this time my paycheck is dependent one-hundred percent on me. So if I want to get paid, I've got to sell. I guess I'll learn the ups system, which we never had at our old gallery. I'm going to have lots of energy and be very animated. So there.

I guess I'm saying goodbye to one period of my life and welcoming in another. Change is good but it ain't easy. I've been dragging my feet trying to accustom myself to the idea of going back to the daily grind. I've had it pretty easy I guess, these past days. I'm going to miss all the time I've had to play on the Internet, reconnect with friends and shits. I guess it's all good. For sure it is.

4 comments:

lyds said...

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Alice Kildaire said...

Good luck on your metamorphis...I've spent most of my life trying to lose the timid, mousy side of me, only to find that I'm the only one who views myself as such, everyone else seems to be under the impression I've got big balls made of solid steel...

forrest said...

I think you're probably right, AK. It's a habit of the mind and I plan on changing my mind habits baby steps everyday. I have to remind myself, though. It's not something that can happen today because I know better....

thecrazydreamer said...

I'm anxious to hear how your job situation turned out. I'm sure you have less time for blogging now, but how about an update when you get the chance?

I'm about to begin my own job hunt (first interview on Tuesday)... I'm absolutely terrified. I hate interviewing.